


No Way in Hell or Coal Hill School

by solomivan



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Class (TV 2016), Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Death, Biting, Blackmail, Blood Drinking, Broken Bones, Character Turned Into Vampire, Don't Have to Know Canon, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, F/F, LaFermonde, M/M, Multi, Murder, Other, Polyamory, Serious Injuries, Strangulation, Teacher-Student Relationship, Temporary Character Death, Vampire Carmilla, Vampire Danny, Vampire LaF, Vampire Perry, Wedding Rings, Weddings, Wyverns, catmilla, hollenstein, janto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:35:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22202704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solomivan/pseuds/solomivan
Summary: Coal Hill School has new teachers, whilst old Jack's friend visits Torchwood with an unusual case.
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein/Danny Lawrence, Matska Belmonde/LaFontaine/Lola Perry
Comments: 9
Kudos: 11





	1. I'm Your New Teacher, Sweetheart

**Author's Note:**

> A/N All characters and the world are owned by their creators, and I do not claim any ownership over them.
> 
> Timeline: for Carmilla's characters - between the final episode and the movie, for the Torchwood team - the end of the episode "Captain Jack Harkness" (s01e12). Yes, I know these are different years, but nevertheless.
> 
> I'm very grateful to my beta [kuchi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuchi)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Features of teaching at Coal Hill School.

Frank Armitrage waited for the school inspection results. It was the first audit of his qualities as principal of this extraordinary school. A verdict would be ready within half an hour. He looked again at his stack of papers and sighed. "So many problems and issues. I hadn't found time to fix this door sign."

In a moment, four black clouds appeared in front of him and instantly turned into humans.

The first was inspector Matska Belmonde in her luxurious red dress. During her first visit, Mr Armitrage thought that such clothes were extremely expensive,even for the Chair of the International Board of Governors.

The second was a raven-haired girl in black trousers and a T-shirt, introduced as Mrs Karnstein. "She'll be an English teacher in place of the recently deceased Miss Oswald."

Mattie pointed at the next person — a tall red-haired girl with an athletic build wearing a checked black-and-white shirt along with blue jeans. "This is Mrs Lawrence. She'll replace the passed-away Mr Pink and fill in his position of PE teacher."

The last visitor was dressed in a white shirt, black business suit, and tie. Mattie told Mr Armitrage, "Mx. LaFontaine will be acting as a Chemistry teacher on the occasion of Mr Chesterton's retirement."

"All aforementioned persons will start working tomorrow," continued Mattie. She handed the principal an official inspection report. "You passed this time, although barely. However, I have some comments."

Mattie began pointing at the corresponding sections of the paper while counting on her fingers.

"Firstly, you should increase the defence against threats from the Space-Time Rift in your school. The current system is weak. Apply additional methods, either magical or technological. You can use my university in Silas as an example. If you need help or advice just ask me."

"The previous issue causes the next: your body count is only 0.5% below the 15% upper boundary for special educational institutions. It's way above average."

"Finally, you are recommended to commemorate your dead by building a monument or creating a roll of honour board. I express my condolences for your loss from the accidents."

Mattie concluded her speech, "In case you haven’t achieved any improvements within one month, you'll completely lose your funding for a new building, and will not be able to obtain better laboratory equipment."

All guests vanished just as they had appeared. They returned to their homes.

Laura asked Danny, "What were your impressions? How were you all able to go to that school?" Laura thought about this moment because vampires could teleport by their will only into familiar places.

"It was okay. We'll begin tomorrow. Mattie said the results were worse than she expected," said Danny with a shrug. "She spent a week performing an inspection. She talked with teachers, watched lessons, checked building and documents."

"Regarding your question, we were there before. Mattie and I occasionally visited the previous principal, Ian Chesterton, and his wife, Barbara Wright — 'the Doctor's friends are our friends, '” answered Carmilla. "LaF and Danny had an exchange study during their senior classes."

Laura stared at Danny, "Remind me why you, Carm, and LaF took a job in another country?"

Danny responded, "It's a good place to apply our knowledge and skills from Silas University. We were offered good pay and compensation for risks." She added, "Moreover, it's a school, where people have been used to strange things like extraterrestrial life or supernatural creatures."

The next day Carmilla went to her class ahead of schedule to prepare all the necessary materials. She heard one girl say to her friend, "I didn't know we had a new student." Carmilla came to the teacher's table, causing astonishment among the students.

She took out some books from her bag: _ In a Glass Darkly _ , a collection of four gothic stories written by Sheridan Le Fanu; a poetic anthology by Claire Ganski under the pen name Claire Accardo; a new Professor X novel; and  _ Alice in Frankenstein's Secret Garden _ , a discussion of 19th-century literature.

She introduced herself and called the students’ names out one by one. When someone replied twice, for himself and his absent friend, Carmilla just smiled briefly, showing fangs. She warned him, "Young man, if you repeat such a trick, your homework and tests will double respectively. People often forget that teachers were pupils once and witnessed the same tricks during their study."

When the list reached Charles Smith, she was sure the boy wasn’t a human due to his different blinking frequency, smell, heartbeat, and rhythm of breathing. She recalled information Mattie had mentioned during the briefing, on how he and the new Physics teacher had suddenly appeared in the school.

Carmilla started her lesson about James Joyce. She asked him, "Mr Smith, can you please name the author’s books?" Charles remembered only  _ Ulysses.  _

Carmilla said, "Could anyone add other titles?" Tanya raised her hand.

"Yes, Miss Adeola?" 

" _ Finnegans Wake, Dubliners, Exiles, his poetry, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, _ " replied the student. Mattie had explained to her sister that she was a child prodigy who skipped three academic years due to outstanding study and extraordinary exam results.

Carmilla thanked Tanya for an excellent answer and gave her a high grade. After that, she told her students about the characteristics of Joyce's texts: multiple allusions, close attention to thoughts and feelings, unusually detailed descriptions of scenes and characters. Carmilla talked a little about some chapters and promised that next time she would discuss their specifics.

She dismissed her class. It would be on e hour until her next lesson. 

Carmilla went to the cafe and ordered a classical tea with cakes.

Soon after, Danny came in with LaF. She apologized for the delay. "I've forgotten this school a little bit since I was here. Besides, they renewed and redecorated it." She ordered her orange juice and cherry pie. LaF wanted the same.

Carmilla asked, "How was your day? Was it easy or not? I spoke about Joyce. Tanya Adeola confirmed her reputation of wunderkind, in comparison with Charles Smith, who knew nothing."

Danny responded, "Morticia, maybe you don't recall owing to your senile age that I was a VP of a sports club and TA in our University. Thus, everything is completely familiar to me. Charles was five minutes late, so he did twenty squats."

Danny sipped her drink and a tea piece of her food. After that, she continued, "He was making excuses about having unexpected problems at home. A pterodactyl scratched his windows and destroyed them with its scream in the early morning. His credit card and social accounts were blocked as suspicious."

LaF bit half of their pie and drank a third of their mug. When they finished, they commented, "I'm sure Mattie had a good reason to do all the aforementioned things. Charles couldn’t define a precursor and write any chemical reactions, while April remembered all but one. She was rewarded with a good grade. My next class will be having its first Chemistry class. I remember an exhilarating feeling of new and exciting information when I was in a similar situation."

Danny said, "I caught Charlie talking too long with Ram during exercises. As a result, I made both of them run five laps. After the lesson, I wished the students good luck with my wife’s class — you, Carmilla. Or should I say, Mrs Karnstein-Lawrence-Hollis?"

LaF smiled, "It explains why Tanya told April, 'History repeats itself: once again Danny teaches PE and is in a relationship with the English teacher.'"

Danny noted, "I made posters advertising Summer Society. I understand students should be able to fight against monsters. I’m providing an opportunity for them to do it the right way, especially with the help of Artemis. April dual-wields curved swords called scimitars, whilst Tanya prefers two daggers."

Carmilla rolled her eyes slightly. "Your sports club expression, 'exciting outdoor recreation', in reality means hard training despite the weather. You play with words like my sister, using a downplayed version of the truth." She and her friends finished the meal and heard the bell. 

Carmilla thought to create a theatrical performance for the eighth grade and games for pupils from junior school. Such approaches would help with better understanding.

LaF went to their classroom. The students registered their short hair as they entered. 

LaF started the lesson with an introduction. "I'm Mx. LaFontaine, your new Chemistry teacher. Yes, it sounds like a 'mix'. I prefer they/them pronouns." They rubbed their regrown eye when they saw an artificial leg on one student.

LaF turned on their presentation, "Today we begin this interesting science studying substances and processes which are everywhere — in everyone and everything. They are essential for our existence."

LaF switched to the next slide titled "Scientific observation", which had the following plan:

  1. Definition of scientific observation
  2. Its conditions and difference from casual observation
  3. Definition of experiment
  4. Definition of modelling
  5. Sources of information



They wanted to speak about the themes in detail when they heard a roar. LaF noticed one pupil turn her head. LaF hurried to calm down their students, "I'll solve the problem. I beg you not to leave the classroom until I tell you that the danger is over."

LaF went to the corridor and saw a large brown wyvern next to the Space-Time Rift in the wall. The creature's wings were folded due to its size: its body reached from one wall to another and its back touched the ceiling. The beast spat small balls of flame towards LaF and bit through a steel door. Then it slowly moved forward one meter.

LaF thought about turning into a lynx, running up, and teleporting right onto the dragon. In a moment, LaF discarded said idea: they would be simply tossed like a rag doll and obtain multiple severe injuries.

LaF decided to make an explosive and use their thermos as a container for it. Unfortunately, the powder could easily end up ineffective because of wyvern's solid natural armour. LaF remembered a substance — Nitro-9 — known for its powerful explosive capability and weak stability.

LaF quickly found the required components in the chemical laboratory behind their classroom and in the janitor's room nearby. They knew how to boost the damage at the cost of fuse time. The monster continued advancing down the corridor.

LaF carefully mixed ingredients in their thermos and threw it. They were sure the grenade would reach the attacker due to their vampiric super-strength. The wyvern swallowed the thermos which blew it apart.

LaF frowned seeing the resulting mess. The old janitor appeared and began cleaning. LaF asked him to give them a piece of wyvern meat to study, despite Mattie's warning.  _ No experiments and practical demonstrations for biology and chemistry. Perry, and therefore, I disapprove of your scientific enthusiasm that often oversteps reasonable limits. _ He put it in a plastic bag to help LaF take it.

LaF returned to children and announced that the problem was eradicated. They looked at the corridor one more time. It has no traces of the incident except long scratches on the floor from the wyvern’s talons. LaF whispered to themselves, "Maybe now Mattie will understand the importance of my research."

They heard a voice behind them, "I will if you give me good reasons."

LaF turned in surprise.

Mattie smiled, "I was in the neighbourhood for business matters. I can recognise a single heartbeat up to half a kilometre away in the city, so it was easy for me to hear your words at a distance of one hundred meters."

LaF said, "I wanted to analyse this body fragment to find out more about the curious creature. I'm asking your permission to do it."

Mattie responded, "You have it. However, the equipment in Coal Hill School as well as at our home laboratory isn't good enough. We need a specialist with better devices."

LaF suggested the Doctor, but Mattie objected that it would be a difficult task to find an incarnation of them who knew about wyvern. "I'll bring this sample to Torchwood Three. At least its team is always in their place." 

Mattie teleported to her old friend Jack Harkness.


	2. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mattie speaks with the Torchwood team about various matters.

Torchwood had just finished their investigation of the time portal that connected 1941 and the present day. The team wanted to return to their Hub and share a toast to their boss Captain Jack Harkness. Owen was sent home to rest and recover.

Gwen was the first one who entered the main room. She noticed a stranger inside: a gorgeous black woman in a luxurious custom red dress with a handbag and shoes in the same shade. Gwen began to ask the unexpected visitor, "Who are you and how did you sneak in here–?"

Jack, however, ran, grinning and hugging the new person. "Mattie, I'm glad to see you again! You are such a rare guest. Last time we spoke, I was in Torchwood One. Please find yourself any free seat. Maybe you want tea?" All were surprised by Jack's reaction. 

Mattie smiled a little. "It's a pleasure to meet you and your new team. Yes, any type except black." She gave him a crooked look and jokingly chided him, "Jackie boy, since when did you become so senile that you forgot your good manners?"

He shrugged. "Sorry, I was just overfilled with joy."

Gwen whispered to Toshiko, "I would say 'with gayness'." They both chuckled.

Ianto boiled water in an electric kettle, then poured it into cups already filled with two teaspoons of green tea each, and put them next to everyone.

Jack started the introduction with himself, "Harkness. Jack Harkness. Yes, that Jack Harkness, one and only. The leader of this mess." He gestured towards the workplaces and the Hub in general. Mattie rolled her eyes: Jack occasionally loved to fool around. He instantly switched to a serious mood after her stern reaction. 

The next Torchwood member was Ianto Jones in his clean, neat violet business suit. Mattie spied a silver wedding ring on his finger with the intertwined letters J and I. "Ianto Jones, my husband and gentleman's gentleman for the past six months. Besides that, he is one hell of a butler for Torchwood since its first branch." Ianto slightly bowed as a response. 

Jack added, "Moreover, he is a good field agent. I'm proud of him and the rest of my team." 

Mattie replied, "My wife Perry and I love people for whom 'thoroughness' and 'cleanliness' aren't empty words. I'm happy to find someone who knows how to wear stylish things with the taste and elegance they deserve."

Jack saw that both Toshiko and Ianto wanted to ask Mattie about something. "Lady in the purple dress first. Mattie, this is Toshiko Sato, our technicians expert. I saved her from UNIT."

"You said 'Perry', Ma'am? Like Perry's Bakery near the Cardiff Bay?" Tosh was recalling her favourite café, where she went frequently with her friends.

"Yes, that's hers. She created every recipe while she was in school and university. I provided material, financial, and legal support," responded Mattie. "Regarding UNIT, that explains the sudden fire in their 'warehouse' that eradicated everyone and was caused by 'multiple wiring problems'. Coincidentally, this incident happened right after the Doctor's visit to that prison."

Jack said, "He repeated his brother's trick. Darling, you wanted to ask something?"

Ianto nodded, "Yes. For me, 'Perry' is associated with the brand of cleansing agents 'Clean with Perry'. I guess they’re her products too." They were the most effective product for the wiping of all types of traces: body fluids and feces, dirt, rust, paint, chemical reagents.

"You are almost right. It was developed by my spouse LaFontaine for her during their study at Silas University. The DA needed to keep everything clean after constant attacks from various supernatural creatures," clarified Mattie. "LaF, with my help, patented every cleanser. Then I organized the mass manufacturing." 

Toshiko told Mattie, "Dr. Lafontaine's scientific works in the field of xenobiology were very useful for us. Owen sends his thanks to them. He is our doctor and pathologist, who now is at home treating his wound."

"The last member of Torchwood in sequence but not in value, Gwen Cooper. She was a police constable before working for us. I admire her skills both as a field agent and second-in-command." Gwen smiled and nodded. She was proud of his praise.

When Jack finished introducing his team, he said, "I think Mattie has a task for Torchwood. Otherwise, she would meet me _after_ work."

Mattie took out a plastic bag full of meat from her handbag. "Yes. Could you please study this fragment of a wyvern's body? The animal appeared from the Space-Time Rift in Coal Hill School located in London." 

Jack asked his old friend, after taking the sample and giving it to Toshiko, "Is anything known about it? Tosh, begin the biochemical analysis." Toshiko opened the bag, cut the tiny fragment, then placed it in the analyzer. Due to modified alien technology, the results would be ready in one and a half hours.

Mattie shrugged, "Not too much. It had long sharp talons, spat fireballs, and bit through a steel door. I cannot add details because LaF blew it with Nitro-9 before it could destroy the school."

"While Tosh performs the research, we can finally talk to each other. Please forgive me for still not introducing you," Jack sighed. "Torchwood, this is Matska Belmonde, my old friend. She is number one among European vampires per her influence, abilities, and age. She is a Chair of the International Board of Governors and the Chancellor of Silas University in Austria. In addition to that, Mattie is a CEO of several corporations. Her various business projects are situated in many countries."

Mattie registered a scientific curiosity in Tosh's eyes after Jack's speech. "Miss Sato, answering your unspoken question, 90% of vampire legends are no more than tales or exaggerations."

Toshiko objected, "Nevertheless, that means ten percent is true. We want to know about real vampiric abilities in case we’re attacked by one of your kind."

Mattie nodded, "That’s a reasonable idea. Let's start the list.” Mattie recounted to the Torchwood members the list of characteristics of vampires she kept in her head, as they listened with rapt attention:

  * _Things with the prefix 'super-': strength, senses, speed, regeneration_



To rip someone's head off I need only one second. I can hear a heartbeat up to one kilometer in a quiet place. My olfactory senses are better than a shark’s. I have night vision, my sight includes UV and IR ranges. My wounds heal in less than two minutes and broken bones are repaired within three days.

  * _Shapeshifting_



Despite the rumors, most vampires turn into large cats: lynx, leopard, puma, etc. I know only seven exceptions.

  * _Teleportation by will_



Yes, but only into familiar places. Although, for me it's practically an insignificant factor. The distance doesn't matter for transportation.

  * _Psy-powers_



Only pyrokinesis. The others have the same frequency as in normal humans.

  * _Anything else._



We might not breathe sometimes. We can turn someone into a vampire using a complex ritual. Our saliva accelerates healing and soothes pain. We have a supersonic scream which destroys glass, disrupts video signals, and causes terrible aches.

“In brief,” she concluded, “we are the highest predators."

"What about other things, for example, the sun, aspen, invitations?" asked Gwen, tilting her head.

Mattie told them the following: 

  * _"Aspen, vervain and hawthorn are harmless for us._



My favourite green tea contains the latter plant. 

  * _Sacred places and silver don't hurt vampires._



I recall how me and my sister had wonderful weddings in Silas Protestant Resurrection Church. Since that event, I have had a silver wedding ring in the form of a haemoglobin molecule with intertwined P and L. She has a similar ring, only resembling a closed arrow with letters L and D.

  * _We can come in without invitations._
  * _We have a slightly higher sensitivity to sun rays than the average human and nothing more._



Plenty of my holidays and business trips were spent in hot countries: Egypt, Mexico, … you name it.

  * _We can see our reflections in the mirror._



How could I look so beautiful without it?

“All the myths I just mentioned were spread by vampires themselves to create a false sense of safety. Thus, we had an easier feeding."

Jack addressed Mattie, "What exactly changed in Silas University since you signed yourself on as its Chancellor shortly after your sister killed your Mother? I heard that you improved it and I want details."

"The most important matter is that I cut unnecessary expenses. Our Mother preferred to spend money rather than to obtain it," said Mattie. "I understand university is a non-commercial organisation. Despite that fact, it still doesn’t need to waste money."

Ianto noted, "Mrs. Belmonde, I've read in the newspaper you closed some student clubs."

Mattie confirmed, "Yes, fraternity Zeta Omega Mu, Alchemical Club, and Glee Club all required large amounts of money and were too useless. I've eradicated them completely."

"Instead you enhanced the fundings for the sports club Summer Society," commented Jack.

Mattie responded, "You should always be prepared as best as possible for the hunt. They obtained new buildings, plenty of targets and preys for practice, better equipment: weapons, spell books, magical amulets. Think of these athletes as Slayers from Buffy without predetermination."

"Was anything else changed, ma'am?" asked Gwen.

"Yes, I cancelled the old rule that prohibited pets in the dormitories. You may have any animal in your room with one condition: it's your full responsibility. The first time it spoils something or hurts someone, you pay a €350 fine plus compensation for the damage, even if it was an accident. The second time it happens, both pet and owner are excluded from the world of the living. It's a harsh rule, so two cases of punishment were enough to prevent further violations."

"Are you teaching anything at your university?" Jack was curious.

"Corporate Communications and Business Law."

"I don't know what terrible things you've done in your life up to this point, but clearly your karma is out of balance to get assigned to my class. I am professor Matska Belmonde and this is Business Law 100 or as I prefer to call it, 'How to Get Away From Taxes'," said Jack. 

Mattie smiled, hearing this slightly altered quote from _How to Get Away with Murder._

"How did you meet Jack for the first time?" Ianto wanted to know due to the fact that Jack barely spoke about his life outside Torchwood, especially regarding his past.

"Our paths crossed in Silas University, which was visited by Jack with his friends: the Doctor, Rose, and her mother Jackie. The Doctor wanted to show his companions the place where he spent a lot of time. This was long before Jack became a Torchwood employee."

Jack asked Mattie, "Please tell us how you change your marital status from Miss to Mrs. and became part of a polyamorous triad."

"I'll begin with the dynamic between my spouses. Perry and LaF were in love with each other since the former's senior class. 'Opposites attract,' people said. It was true: Perry initially believed in occult matters, LaF — in science," recalled Mattie. 

"Then in Silas University the situation reversed partially: Perry constantly denied the existence of magic, while LaF discovered not everything can have a rational explanation. Perry loved to control each aspect of her life. LaF occasionally didn't bother themselves with those things and followed their enthusiasm."

Toshiko said, "Ma'am, how did you started being involved with this couple?"

"The starting point was my visit to my sister after the chaos caused by her elimination of our Mother. At first, I was simply curious about LaF and Perry. Their dynamic was odd and interesting. We had to work together saving everyone from that mayhem and tried to resolve our issues on the fly," recalled Mattie.

"Gradually we began to have a mutual respect and care. It slowly turned into friendship. Perry was the first with whom my interactions were improved. With LaF it required one more week. When the situation completely calmed down, we thought about being in a romantic and sexual relationship. We were totally happy and had great plans until the incident with LaF's autoclave a month later."

"I still remember something regarding a scandal with the company," said Ianto. "I read in the newspaper it wasn't their first violation in manufacturing."

"Yes, I found compromising materials and sent them to news studios and publishing houses. After destroying its reputation, I bought their fortune, signed myself as the new Director and provided stricter quality control."

Gwen recalled, "That news claimed that the main boss committed suicide: he ripped his head and heart off."

"He killed himself by hurting my family and making me angry. This fraud happened before multiple times. Money bought silence."

After Mattie described the incident in detail, the analyzing device concluded the assay: the wyvern was a genetic experiment performed in the future on a forgotten alien planet. Jack commented, "Probably it was an attempt to create an army and guards. Such attempts are rarely successful." 

Mattie thanked them for help and promised to visit Torchwood again, when she found an opportunity. She returned home. 


	3. The Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The incident and its consequences.

Perry decided to remind LaF to pause their experiment and finally have dinner. LaF often forgot to eat when they were doing research, which annoyed Perry. When the latter entered the room, both of them registered a sudden deafening blast and saw a rain of autoclave fragments. 

Their friends came as soon as possible after hearing the explosion and noticed there were metal pieces piercing into their bodies, resulting in damaged arteries and inner organs. There were severe burns on both LaF and Perry. Laura suggested they call Emergency Medical Services, but everybody understood it was useless.

They would die soon from the shock or the blood loss.

Mattie said, "The only way to save their lives is to turn them into vampires. According to the Vampire Codex, we should do it only with the consent of potential "children". Unlike my Mother who constantly created her minions, I always took the aforementioned rule seriously." Mattie asked Perry and LaF loudly if they agreed, and saw barely visible nods.

She knew that the future vampire needed to be dead first because the living person wouldn't survive the transformation, or would become mentally unstable as a result.

Mattie apologised before breaking their necks. Then she lifted Perry, put four drops of blood from her right hand in Perry's mouth, and bit her neck to release the substance that changes a person into a vampire. Then Mattie drew on her forehead the required magical symbols using her blood. Before the required spell was cast, she told Carmilla to repeat her actions.

Carmilla did what her sister requested. Then she addressed Laura and Kirsh standing behind her, "I'm sorry, but as soon we conclude the ritual, the 'newborns' will be very thirsty. For them, it's important to have their first blood drinking from a human. Animals don't provide adequate nutrition, especially during the initial period. Besides, 'babies' should learn how to use their new feeding ability properly."

Danny registered worry in her friends' faces and calmed them: "Don't fear, we are near you, monitoring the situation. I promise you'll lose no more than half of a litre. We'll help you after they finish."

Kirsh and Laura came to the "toddlers". Because Kirsh was taller compared to everyone except Danny, he kneeled. After that, Mattie and her sister ended the transformation. Perry and LaF became alive again. 

Carmilla noticed that their wounds and broken necks were healing with high speed. The new vampires bit their friends. Mattie stopped the blood-drinking after two seconds by clapping her hands and loudly saying, "That’s enough for the first time. Later we'll repeat with more control from your side." The humans’ bite marks instantly became tiny punctures.

Carmilla and Mattie took hold of the weakened Laura and Kirsh and put them in chairs. Perry suggested the first aid kit and to cook something to restore their health. Danny objected, saying that the adaptation wasn't over and no medical help was required. "For now, you are dangerous to everyone including yourselves." It was also a warning to LaF not to continue their experiment despite their wish. 

Mattie asked Danny to perform a quick course on vampire abilities, while she herself would "explicitly talk" with the top brass of the manufacturing company. Perry said, "Please don't be late for our dinner."

Mattie smiled, "Sweetheart, I might not need dinner after my 'discussion.' But I will return in time anyway. Punctuality is always good for business and casual matters." Mattie prepared her documents which introduced her as a financial inspector. She teleported to the street near the main office of that organisation, taking with her an autoclave fragment with a partially-visible serial number.

The red-hair athlete addressed the "kids" with a list of important things vampires must remember.

  * Avoid anything too strong for your senses during several days: spice food, sharp smells, bright light, loud sounds. You are more sensitive than before. You'll adapt.


  * You need blood once or twice a week for your feeding. Its rare consumption leads to weakened self-control and fatigue, even possible blackout.


  * Now you have super strength. Be careful with it. Imagine that everything made from cardboard and plasticine. You are like Hulks without mind degradation.


  * You can stop breathing for any period if you want.



"Let's move on to your abilities," she said. She recounted the following carefully:

  * Teleportation using your will



It's possible but only into familiar places. The first task to move to the kitchen and back to this place, then for ten centimetres from the current position. To do these actions, visualize your destination and how you would stand in it. Focus on that picture.

  * Turning into animals. 



Before you'll know your animal form, imagine your limbs becoming paws and the appearance of a tail. Your fur will have the same colour as your hair. After you have found your second nature, keep its image in your mind to perform the transformation. The aforementioned teleportation works in that state as well. Don't forget to keep your cat form healthy: feed it properly, pay attention to your thirst, brush it regularly, have the appropriate litters and a scratching post.

  * Pyrokinesis



This just requires several pieces of training to regulate its power. Concentrate on the object you want to burn and think about the flames appearing on it.

  * Supersonic scream



Just yell as loud as possible.

"It's time to practice these things."

Both "newborns" did the first task without any problem. However, the second was more difficult: despite their concentration, the transformation didn't happen. Danny decided to help them. She began transforming from human to tiger and vice versa.

In the beginning, it was a slow process; then she accelerated, so both her forms were barely recognisable. Suddenly LaF and Perry became a lynx and a cougar, respectively. The latter immediately licked herself and the former like they were her kitten.

Laura smiled, "Even in new circumstances, Perry maintains her habit of cleaning everything and looking after LaF." Both animals turned back to normal. Danny asked them to repeat the process.

After they succeeded, Danny told them to turn into the animals and run three laps around the campus and one around the city. LaF and Perry stared at her. She said, "Yes, I am well informed that you aren't sportspersons, but you should be healthy as well in this state. Believe me, this is easier for you than it looks now." 

LaF being a Biology Major knew that the speed of the large cats is between 64 and 80 km/h, thus the whole exercise would take about two hours including time for rest. Carmilla and Danny agreed to join the run. All put on collar tags that read, "If lost, return to Silas University." Danny promised a reward for the well-performed exercise for each participant — a small amount of catnip and a huge yarn ball made especially for leopards and similar creatures.

They returned and the next training was dedicated to control over pyrokinesis. Carmilla brought several candles from the kitchen cabinet. "Practise on these before going on to something serious."

LaF's first attempt resulted in a completely melted candle; the next was more successful. A flame appeared, although smaller than planned. Perry achieved a good result from the beginning. 

"The course is over. You are now ready for your new life," commented Danny.

Perry decided to clean the mess. She asked everyone to help her. The room was cleared within a half of an hour. LaF postponed her study until they would have new, better equipment.

*

Mattie entered the company building. Some people glanced at her. She showed her documents to the receptionist. "The bank notified me about suspicious activity related to your company. As an inspector, I need to discuss this problem with the director." She was directed to his office. 

The director saw Mattie and quickly dismissed his secretary, "It's a private talk." 

Mattie closed the door and took out the metal piece from her handbag. "This belongs to low-quality equipment your enterprise manufactured and sold to save money. It killed my friends. An analysis performed by specialists demonstrated several violations in the construction: tiny cracks in the walls and bottom component and weak welding."

The director denied it was the corporation's fault. "I'm sure it's your friends who broke the safety rules. It's a frequent tactic to try to obtain money from us: blame us for their our errors."

Mattie smiled, showing her fangs for longer than it was comfortable for her opponent. "You said it was not the first time. Let's check the other impacts of your operations on human lives."

She dialled on her mobile phone the number of the CEO of the bank connected with this company.

"Good day, Mr Miller. Well, I know you’re busy, so I don’t want to keep you. This isMatska Belmonde, a financial inspector. I discovered a case of fraud committed by Silas Lab. I need information on their transfers to private entities since the company was founded. Also please describe the situation to its chief engineer. Send each detail immediately to me through email. I'm looking forward to your prompt response."

"You will find nothing criminal. All the transactions are legal," objected the Director.

"We'll see in ten minutes." Mattie noticed the Director’s slight nervousness: fingers tapping on the countertop, increased heart rate, pupillary dilation. 

A new email arrived in Mattie’s inbox which had six transfers corresponding to the request. The chief engineer was moved to a similar position in another region. 

"I think the chief engineer complained about your politics, so he was sent away from you. I suggest a deal: you leave your job and transfer it to me. In exchange, I will delete anyinformation about your scam and forget that you exist."

"That's absurd!"

Mattie came closer to the director, lifted him by his neck with her left arm, and started strangling him. He was surprised by her strength. When black dots appeared in front of his eyes, he nodded, "Fine."

"Finally you showed some common sense. Take a blank sheet of paper and a pen, write your redundancy as I tell you."

_I, /First name Middle name(s) Surname, Appointment/, terminate my contract from Silas Lab Corporation today, owing to my incompetence and inability to perform my duty properly._

_I transfer my post to Matska Belmonde who takes up my office from today without any restrictions._

_Both entities agree with terms and have no mutual claims._

Mattie and the Director signed the treaty.

"I did as you asked. Now it's your turn."

Mattie tapped her smartphone and showed the director that she had no emails. Then she called Laura. "I sent you all the evidence of the fraud. Your publishing house will have exclusive material. After they print it, I'll send it to TV channels and other media."

"You lied to me."

"No, I said I would wipe the compromising emails and I did it. I didn't promise I would refuse to send it to the newspaper. There will be an interesting article about your crimes. Now it's time for you to commit suicide to avoid shame and justice."

"What do you mean? Why should I do such a thing?" exclaimed the Director.

The last thing the Director saw was Mattie's left hand piercing his rib cage. Before he lost consciousness from the shock and died, he heard the crack of broken ribs, and felt how her palm grabbed his heart and pull it out. She put the heart near him and told him, "Now you are showing your real nature – a heartless person."

Mattie lifted the body and with a swift motion ripped its head off. She placed it on the table next to the agreement. She dialled the main city cleaning service. "Hello, this is Matska Belmonde, your regular client. I want to order a full service for the director's office of Silas Lab at Rienalstraße, 17. Is it possible to do it before the end of today? If yes, then the team will obtain a 20% bonus. I'll pay by my credit card, as before." 

Mattie took a large notepad, addressing the Director. "It's time for your post-suicidal, I mean, suicidal note." She described his crimes, claiming it was the only way to avoid prison. Her writing was an accurate imitation of his.

She decided that tomorrow she would buy the company's fortune and request stricter quality control with more severe punishment for any violations. But today she would begin preparations for the wedding. Perry had already ordered beautiful silver rings and prepared the guest list.

Mattie left the room, closed the door and asked the secretary not to disturb her boss until tomorrow.

Mattie returned to the lab. Danny said, "The initial training was successful. Our friends are ready for their new life.”

"The idea of a wedding is good, but we need to make arrangements for it with mine and LaF's parents," advised Perry. "They might help with the preparation."

LaF suggested immediate teleportation into Perry's house. Mattie objected, "Firstly, I cannot do it because I don't know that place. Secondly, we will make a better impression if we arrive in my luxurious car which belongs to one of my corporations."

LaF was delighted, while Perry winced. "It's wrong to use a company car for private matters."

Mattie explained, "I understand your position, _Liebling_. But I have to discuss my business proposals in the office nearby anyway."

Mattie called the driver. When he arrived, she dismissed him, "Thank you. I will drive myself. The last time I did that was so long ago."

"Was it in 1820?" jokingly LaF. Perry sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. Sometimes her friend wasn't good with humour.

"No, it was in 1935 in Japan. I visited places with my two vampirical 'children' when they were still 'alive'."

"I'm sorry for your loss, but what happened to them?" asked Laura. 

"Even a vampire cannot survive a nuclear explosion. They died when the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. At least, those "children" were gone in a moment."

"Did you turn anyone else into a vampire, besides those people and your future spouses?" asked Danny.

"Yes, Carmilla. I would have refused if only the Dean wasn't so persuasive. She never took 'No' for an answer."

Perry texted her parents that she would visit them with Mattie and LaF. Her home was located in a town not far from Silas. The car was parked behind the building and they climbed to the third floor to Perry's flat.

LaF registered that all the protective symbols and amulets on the door were new. The old ones would be completely ineffective now. Perry told her they were there to defend the inhabitants from evil forces. Attackers would be turned to ash. Perry and her friends entered the flat which looked as if it was one from a catalogue. Everything was in its proper place, neat and clean. 

Perry's parents introduced themselves and invited the visitors to the kitchen, "Please sit. I'm Monica and this is my husband John." The latter added, "We’ve known LaF since their childhood. Who is your other guest? She looks rather familiar." He had seen this person somewhere else before but couldn't remember exactly where.

"Matska Belmonde, but you can call me Mattie," Mattie tilted her head and smiled.

After she said her name, John recalled her speech on TV half a year ago. She had talked about planned forthcoming changes in Silas University when she became the new Chancellor after the death of her predecessor. In addition to that, Monica occasionally saw Mattie’s name in the financial news.

Perry decided to clear up the situation. "LaF and I have done nothing wrong. We just want to declare that the three of us are in a relationship for the last few months. We are going to marry and want to invite you to our wedding."

John just nodded, accepting new changes in his daughter's life. "Your friends Danny, Laura, and Carmilla were the first triad I'd ever seen and you are the second. I don't know the specifics of polyamory, so I cannot say if such a relationship difficult for three of you or not. I simply wish you good luck!"

Monica wanted to know more about the forthcoming ceremony. "Where are planning to perform it? Will it be civil or religious?"

Mattie answered, "I suggest the Protestant Resurrection Church where our friends were married. After that, we'll visit a restaurant. So please prepare your best formal clothes."

John's next question was about the other guests. "Who will be there?"

"Both of you, LaF's parents and their colleagues from the scientific centre, our friends. It's a small celebration," said Perry. She noticed Laf had tipped over a cup. She instantly captured it and returned it to the table.

Her mother registered her very quick reaction and asked, "What can you say about your turning into a vampire?"

"How did you find out that I'm not a normal human anymore?"

"Your instant reflexive movement confirmed my suspicion. I registered that your blinking and respiration are a bit rarer in comparison with other people too."

"Monica, an explosion happened in my lab. It was caused by shoddy equipment. We were terminally wounded by its pieces. Transformation into a vampire was the only way to save us," explained LaF. They were used to addressing Perry's parents by their first names since she came to prefer her surname, Perry, instead of her given name, Lola. LaF had a similar habit of using LaFontaine, not Susan, whilst talking about themselves.

"It was performed after I obtained their consent. I wouldn't do it if they were against it. I knew about many people who declined the offer," said Mattie. "You don't need to worry or fear any unpredictable or violent behaviour. My spouses-to-be can perfectly control themselves. They have already adapted to a new manner of existence."

John thanked Mattie for clarifying and asked her about the time and date of the wedding. "We planned to have it in the afternoon around ten days from today," was her response.

"Mattie, does your relationship affect LaF and Perry's grades?" Monica enquired.

"No, it would be unprofessional and bad for the university's reputation. I don't influence their studies in any way."

"What do you want to do after the wedding?"

"During the time nearest to its holidays, we'll travel to Paris, the Vatican, and Saint Petersburg. Your daughter wants to open a chain of bakery shops," responded Mattie. "LaF decided to obtain patents for their inventions and have their own laboratory. Moreover, they are thinking to publish their discoveries in significant scientific journals with a large impact factor." 

"Have you thought about kids?"

"It's not something for us due to our lifestyle," replied Perry.

"Perry, do you know that LaF's mother, Anna, and I studied together at your University?"

"Yes, you mentioned that fact when describing your youth."

"It was a pleasure to talk to you, but we still have to visit LaF's parents," said Mattie, concluding their visit.

The next visit was similar to the previous one, although Mattie and her friends waited fifteen minutes until LaF's parents came home from their work in a famous biochemical laboratory. Anna suggested a bakery for vampires, with eggs replaced by blood – in a ratio 65g of blood for one egg or 43g of blood for one egg white.

*

Mattie started the preparations required for fulfilling her partners’ wishes. She told LaF to file a patent application for each of their inventions, including new array methods and cleansings. She found well-known international scientific journals and suggested sending articles to them as university works.

She promised Perry a bakery shop in Silas centre, an in the case that it was a successful venture, it would be turned into a chain in Austria and later around the world. The building and suppliers were found, and documents were made ready.

*

When LaF, Mattie, and Perry were riding to the church, they registered that the priest was waiting for them on the street near the entrance. It was the same middle-aged man who conducted the wedding for Danny, Carmilla, and Laura. He said that the guests were already inside. For a moment LaF wondered if they were late but calmed themselves: with Perry’s and Mattie's hyper punctuality, it was impossible. The other people simply must have arrived in advance. 

The church was decorated, but without excess. It had a good balance between luxury and minimalism in the usual Protestant manner.

Their parents were on the first pews of both rows, and their friends sat on the right side. Perry noticed them admiring the holiday clothes of the future triad: Mattie's black calf-length dress, a suit and tie of the same colour on LaF, and her own beige floor-length gown.

The priest asked the partners to come to the altar and say the vows. When Mattie mentioned "till death do us part", Danny whispered to Laura, "Not in their case."

Laura quietly answered, "As I’ve always said, 'No way in Hell or Hogwarts.' But, unfortunately, in our situation it's true. I still have an ordinary human life, unlike you and Carm."

"Cupcake, for us, you are anything but ordinary. We love you with all our hearts,” added Carmilla. “You are important to all of us. Don't fear, we'll spend a wonderful time together during all your life no matter how long it lasts." 

Mattie, LaF, and Perry exchanged rings in the following sequence: Mattie to LaF to Perry, and back to Mattie. All the rings were silver with intertwined initials of their preferred names: P, M, L. Perry's ring was in the form of DNA double helix, while LaF's had a miniature cake with tiny red ruby stylised as a drop of blood.

After the ending of the ceremony, Mattie called several taxis to the restaurant. During the ride, the company just discussed their plans and shared memories: the parents described their school and university studies, and Mattie told her spouses stories from her life. 


End file.
